Twisted Paths
by redsandman99
Summary: Buff/Dark Knight crossover. Batman doesn’t know where The Joker came from or who he really is. But there’s someone out there who still remembers and she has come to Gotham for a little reunion
1. Chapter 1

Twisted Past

Summary: Buff/Dark Knight crossover. Batman doesn't know where The Joker came from or who he really is. But there's someone out there who still remembers and she has come to Gotham for a little reunion.

Disclaimer: This will have same AU for the Buffyverse. But it will all be explained in the story as it goes on.

Chapter 1

The Joker knew he was caught yet again. Batman had left him hanging upside down over the side of the damn building so he could go off and save poor Commissioner Gordon's family from Harvey Dent. The thought of how he had pulled the great Harvey Dent down into the madness made him laugh like a maniac, even as the SWAT team was getting him down so they could arrest him. The great Harvey Dent was ruined. Gotham would lose hope and fall to chaos. In jail or not, he had won.

"Could you guys hurry up a little down there?" he asked the SWAT team. "The blood is rushing to my brain and I have a very sensitive inner ear condition."

The SWAT team didn't answer him, which was disappointing. He had been hoping for a better audience. He licked his lips and waited until they got him down before talking again.

"You want to know how I got these scars?" he asked as he was being handcuffed. "Once upon a time I fell in love with a pretty girl that already had a boyfriend. We got together one night because she could no longer resist my charms. I might not look like it, but I'm a smooth operator when it comes to the ladies. Anyway, her boyfriend found out and you know what he did? He put a knife in my mouth and sliced my face open! Pretty overdramatic, huh?" He looked around and bobbed his head a few minutes before answering his own question. "Yes, it was very overdramatic." He laughed. "Wasn't that a great story?"

"Would you shut up?" one of the SWAT team members growled.

"Oh there's no hope of that happening. Unless you knock him out of course."

The Joker stopped in his tracks. He knew that voice. There was no way he could ever forget it. He turned around and saw _her_ standing there. Only she was different now. Her hair, once soft and red, was black as night. Her eyes matched the new hair and black veins covered her face. She had really grown up in all their years apart.

"Willow…" he cooed. Her appearance was making him giggle. "Willow Rosenberg, did you come all the way over here to save me? Because I think the nice men with the guns won't like that one bit."

The SWAT team pointed their guns at Willow "Get on you knees and keep your hands where we can see them!"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Go to sleep." And they did. Every single SWAT team member fell to the floor in an unconscious heap, leaving The Joker and Willow the last ones standing.

"Ha ha ha, hee hee," Joker laughed. "Now that is interesting. Last time I saw you, you could barely float a pencil."

Willow shrugged. "Things change."

The Joker couldn't disagree with that. "So can you get these handcuffs off me? They're really starting to chafe."

Willow sighed and obliged him. He heard her mutter something about men being big babies. He grinned. He would have her screaming like a little baby soon enough. He would make her scream and spill the beans about her transformation from adorable red head to beautiful black magic woman.

"So what's with the lies about how you got your scars?" Willow asked. "Are you afraid nobody will believe the truth?"

The Joker reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife. He grabbed her by the throat and put the knife right in her face. "How about we put a smile on your face?" he asked. "Then you can be a freak, just like me."

She grinned. "I think you're freaky looking enough for the both of us Xander."

This stopped the Joker. It had been a long time since anyone had called him that. "Can't you keep your voice down Willow? If anyone hears my name it'll ruin my mystique."

"Xander, honey, I hate to break it to you but mystique is overrated." Then she hit him with a spell right in the chest that sent him flying halfway across the room. He banged his head hard against the floor. He tried to get back up but Willow kicked him back down. She was stronger than he remembered.

"Poor Xander," Willow said regretfully. "I'm sorry I have to do this but I can't trust you any more." She kicked him in the face and that was when his entire world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Flashback: March 1998

_Xander had come home to find his dad drunk once again. He had tried to just go upstairs to the safety of his room and ignore the insults being hurled at him. But then his dad had crossed the line and started yelling terrible insults about Cordelia. That had set Xander off and he had rushed at his dad. _

_So what did he get for trying to defend his girlfriend's honor? A broken nose, three broken ribs and a possible concussion. All in all, it might not have even been worth it because Cordelia would be upset about him getting hurt and then bitch at him about doing stupid things like trying to fight his dad._

_Xander laid down on his bed. He was in extreme pain but there was nothing he could do about it. Going to the hospital wasn't an option because the doctors would ask questions. And if the doctors asked questions, Xander's dad would only get more upset. And that would mean even more people would get hurt._

_Xander drifted off for about an hour before he was woken up by his door being opened. He opened his eyes, expecting to see his mother. She was always coming to apologize for whatever his dad did. But tonight, his visitor wasn't his mother; it was Angelus._

_"I always suspected your dad was abusive, but I have to say, I didn't think he was that big of a dick," Angelus said with a grin. He shut the door behind him. "I was originally going to kill him just to fuck with you, but now I've realized he makes you even more miserable alive."_

_Xander rolled out of bed and backed away from Angelus. He couldn't believe this. His dad had actually let this monster into the house. This was really, really bad. There was no way he could take Angelus in a fight with the condition he was in and Angelus was blocking the door. His only hope of escape was the window, but that wasn't even open._

_Angelus pulled a knife out of his pocket. "Buffy really should have killed me when she had the chance." He ran his finger over the blade. "Everything I've done in the past couple of months have been all her fault." He twirled the knife around in his hands. "What happened to Jenny was her fault." He pointed the knife at Xander. "What's about to happen to you will DEFINTELY be her fault."_

_Xander knew he was screwed. In desperation, he hurled himself at the window. He was more willing to risk more injury by jumping out the window than risk death at the hands of a knife wielding Angelus. But Angelus managed to catch him at the last minute and threw him down on the bed. He tried to roll off the other side so he could make a break for the door but Angelus was on him in an instant._

_"Xander, Xander, Xander," Angelus purred as he put the knife in Xander's mouth. "Why so serious? You never smile when I'm around." He laughed. "Let's put a smile on that face." He began to cut right into Xander's face. Xander screamed and the blood was flowing like crazy but nobody came to his rescue. His ears burned with the sound of Angelus laughing as he cut the other side of his face._

_"There," Angelus said when he was finally done. "Now you'll always be smiling." He patted Xander's chest and then made his exit._

_Xander rolled off the bed and landed face first on the floor. He spit out a mouthful of blood, painfully aware of the agony his face was in. Groaning, he forced himself up to his feet. There was no choice besides a hospital now. But as he was heading to the door, his mind was seized with a sudden impulse. He turned around and stumbled over to his mirror. His reflection revealed the horrible smile he knew that couldn't be fixed. He was always going to be smiling now._

_He reached up and touched the cuts. They started to sting even more so he quickly stopped. What had just happen was starting to sink in. "Why so serious?" he gasped. He burst out laughing and began to cackle like a man that's just starting to lose his mind._

End Flashback.

The Joker woke up with a pounding headache. He sat up and rubbed his temples. "Willow," he called out. "Willow that wasn't nice." He looked around and saw that she wasn't anywhere to be found. Pleased that Willow was actually stupid enough to leave him all alone and not take away his knives, he left the room so he could go cause some trouble.

And as luck would have it, his opportunity to cause a little chaos came right at the end of the hallway. There was a girl in her early twenties standing there, staring at him like a deer in the headlights. She was pretty, but tiny. Small breasts, and a hundred pounds soaking wets. "Hello beautiful," he greeted. He took a knife out of his pocket and used it to move his hair out of the front of his face. "Can you tell me where dear old Willow is? I have a message I need to give her."

The girl opened her mouth and started to yell for Willow, but he rushed over and put his hand over her mouth. He suddenly wanted to talk to this girl. Yeah, he was going to have a nice little conversation with her and then slice her little throat.

"Sshhhh," he ordered. "Don't start yelling. You'll wake the whole house up and then I'll have to kill you quickly instead of killing you slowly." He grinned as he felt how bad she was shaking. "Now I'm going to take my hand off your mouth. When I do, you'll tell me you're name." He pressed the end of the knife against her throat. "Keep in mind, all I have to do is give this a little push if you start making trouble."

She nodded and he took his hand away. "I'm Fred," she stammered, revealing her Southern accent.

"Fred. Very interesting." He moved the knife up to her lips. "You want to know how I got these scars Fred?"

Fred gulped noticeably. "Willow already told me what happened."

The Joker pouted. Well his moment was officially spoiled. Leave it to Willow to poop on the party. It was time to tell another story. "Okay, let's talk about my first girlfriend. You want to hear that story?" He grabbed a chunk of her hair and made her nod. "Good." He thought about the best way to start it. "Her name was Cordelia Chase. She was rich, spoiled, shallow and beautiful. I mean, she was a perfect ten. Then one day, she became attracted to a boy named Xander Harris, who, as party pooper Willow probably told you, was my old name. So we started dating and then my little disfigurement happened. Cordelia tried to stay supportive, but her shallowness took over and she decided I was too repulsive to date anymore."

"Are you sure she wasn't repulsed by the fact that you're a crazy killer?" Fred asked.

He licked his lips again and rolled his eyes. "I'm not crazy. I don't know why everyone thinks that. And I'll have you know I hadn't killed that many people yet during my time. All the people I killed were either security guards or slow people who couldn't get out of the building before it exploded." He paused because he lost his place in the story. "Where was I?"

"The part where Cordelia couldn't stand to look at you anymore and then dumped you."

"Oh right. So she dumps me and I'm just devastated. I'm so distraught that I go to Los Angelus and start terrorizing everyone there." He stopped again and thought about what he just said. "Wait a minute, I nearly destroyed LA just for fun. I killed Cordelia because I was distraught." He began to cackle madly.

Fred suddenly sprang into action. She kneed him in the groin and made a break for it. He doubled over, slightly stunned, but he recovered quickly. He chased her down the stairs and into the living room. She stumbled over a fallen book and nearly fell face first on the floor. Laughing, he closed the distance between them and tackled her to the ground.

"Connor!" Fred screamed. "Connor help!"

Joker flipped her over on her back and sat on her waist so she couldn't get away. "Now that wasn't very nice," he scolded. "I haven't finished my story yet." He put the knife against her throat. "Maybe I should just kill you right now."

"N-No," Fred stammered. "You can finish your story."

He smiled. "That's a good girl. Anyway, after my brief stay in LA I went back to Sunnydale so I could try to win back my lovely Cordelia. I kidnapped her and took her to a warehouse so we wouldn't be interrupted. I tried to tell her that I loved her and that we could leave Sunnydale and go where nobody would judge us. But the more she resisted, the more I realized people would judge her no matter where we went because of my scars. So I cut up her face and made her look just like me. But then she freaked out and started screaming." He shook his head. "I got so sick of her whining that I just had to kill her. He sighed dramatically. "And that's the tragic story of my first love." He kissed Fred lightly. "I hope you enjoyed it because that's the last story you'll ever hear.

Fred whimpered and started struggling even more. He laughed and was just about to move the knife across her throat when somebody grabbed him by the hair and threw him back all the way across the room.

"Connor!" Fred gasped. "Connor we have to get Willow!"

Joker got back up to his feet. This Connor person was about seventeen and almost looked kind of familiar. "What is it with you people?" he asked. "Can't a man ever kill someone in peace?"

"You stay away from her," Connor snarled. "Filthy monster."

Joker scowled. Now that was a name that did bother him. His mom used to call his dad a monster all the time. And it was the truth; Tony Harris was a monster. He wasn't though. He was just a man free enough to do whatever he wanted. The fact that he chose to murder, steal and blow things up was another matter entirely. "You better watch your language," he warned Connor. "You don't want to make me cut your tongue out, do you?" He leered at Fred. "Or maybe I'll cut her tongue out and make you watch."

Connor actually growled as he lunged forward. Joker expected this, and easily wrapped the boy into a one arm bear hug. He would have used the other arm, but that one had the hand that was holding the knife to the boy's throat. "Tsk, tsk, tsk," he scolded. "Is that anyway to treat a guest?" He pressed his forehead right against Connor's. "Maybe a smile will help teach you some manners."

"WILLOW!" Fred bellowed at the top of her lungs. "SPIKE!"

The Joker looked at Fred. Spike was here? Vampire Spike? This distracted him long enough for Connor to head butt him and get out of his grip.

"What in the hell is going on down here?" Spike yelled. He stormed into the room with Willow not far behind him.

Joker reached into his jacket and put his fingers around a stake he always kept for emergencies. Oh he remembered Spike very well. And he was definitely going to make sure Spike remembered him too.

Willow stepped right in between Joker and Spike. "You're not causing trouble now, are you Xander?" she asked in amusement.

Fred ran over to Willow. "He was going to kill me," she tattled.

Spike glared at Willow. "I told you we should have kept him tied up. But no, you had to go feel all bad for the whelp and you let the rabid dog off the leash. Now look what happened: he attacked my son and his girlfriend."

Joker took the stake out of his pocket and pointed it at Connor. "So he's a vampire? Well my knife wouldn't have done much good at all then."

Spike rolled his eyes. "No you bleeding imbecile, he's my _son_. Key word, son."

Joker frowned. "Did you knock someone up before Drusilla vamped you up? Because I have to say he looks good for his age. A lot better than you anyway."

"Xander, I'll explain the Connor thing later," Willow said before Spike could reply. "Spike, take Fred and Connor out of here. I need to talk to Xander alone."

Joker watched in amusement as Spike did what Willow said. She had definitely changed in their years apart. The old Willow would never try to order around an evil and soulless vampire. "I hope you don't expect me to join you're little lapdog club," he told her. "Because we'll have some serious problems if you do."

Willow grinned. "Don't worry, I know better than that." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a newspaper. "You might want to read this."

He took it from her. It was a copy of today's Gotham newspaper. To his surprise, Batman was suddenly the new villain. "He's taking the fall for dear old Harvey," he muttered.

"It's a shame," Willow said. "All that hard work you did and Batman still won't let you win." She started to circle him. "This town has no idea what you're truly capable of yet. You had L.A. rioting in fear by the time you got done with them. You killed your parents, Buffy, Angel, Cordelia, Amy--"

"And I would have gotten Amy's dad too if the cops hadn't shown up," Joker muttered. "It served the bitch right for putting Angel's soul back in."

"Well to be fair, it was Buffy's idea," Willow pointed out. "It's a good thing I didn't agree to that little plan; I wouldn't be here talking to you if I did." She stopped and folded her arms over her chest. "Oh, and you blew up Sunnydale High."

Joker eyed her carefully. "Willow what is that you want? You didn't bring me here just to butter me up."

"Giles and Faith are looking for you," she said. "And now they have an army of Slayers backing them up. Now I know you're the "Clown Prince of Crime" but I still don't like your odds of going up against a bunch of Slayers on your own."

"That's why they invented the sneak attack Willow," he pointed out. It didn't surprise him that Giles was hunting for him. The Watcher had never been the same since he killed Buffy. "Let me tell you what I think. I think you're convinced that there's some part of Xander still alive in here and you want to bring him out again." He grabbed her roughly by the waist and pulled her against him. "Tell me, does it look like Xander still lives here?"

Excitement danced behind Willow's eyes. "No," she admitted. "And that's the point. You're not Xander, and I'm not the same Willow any more. I've…fallen down to your level, so to speak. Having your lover die in your arms and flaying a man alive will do that to a person."

Joker let go of Willow. She flayed a man alive? Oh this was an exciting new development. He got on the couch and started cackling. "Little Willow killed a man! Tell me how you did it. I want to know everything about it."

Willow laughed. "Fine, sit down and I'll tell you. It's a very interesting story. It's so interesting that I don't even have to change it every five seconds like you do with the story of your scars."

"Not everybody believes in vampires Willow. If I told them a vampire did it, they would think I was nuts!"

"Good point. Anyway, it all started when Oz left…"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Oz left me a few months after college started," Willow said. She was pacing back and forth in front of the couch. "Our relationship was in trouble the moment you left. And by left, I don't mean you leaving Sunnydale, I mean Xander leaving and the Joker taking over. I was the only one who never hated you for what you did. Even when you were blowing up buildings and killing innocent people I couldn't hate you. Anyway, Oz said I was becoming obsessed with you and that I was changing because of it."

"Wait a minute!" Joker interrupted. "Oz could talk? When did that happen?"

She rolled her eyes. "He wasn't a mute Xander. He was just…laconic. Anyway, with my changing personality and his little encounter with a werewolf named Veruca, our relationship was just screwed." She sat down in the chair across from Xander. "And he was right; I was changing. I was getting way into the magic and Giles said I was getting power hungry." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I met Tara a couple months after Oz and I broke up and--"

Joker grinned. "I know where you're going with this and please tell me you made a video tape."

Willow laughed. "And you said there was no Xander left in there."

"There's not!" He fidgeted in his seat for a minute. "At least tell me you have pictures. I mean, come on! It's not nice for you to have a lesbian relationship and not think about leaving me some proof!"

She smacked her forehead. This just proved that no matter how psychotic men got, they were still just a bunch of horn dogs. "ANYWAY, we fell in love and I knew we were meant to be together forever. But then a bunch of geeks decided to try to off Faith and when she got two of them in jail, Warren, the "leader" of them came into Faith's backyard and started shooting up the place. Faith and Tara both got shot. Faith lived and Tara--"

"Died," Joker finished for her. He scratched the side of his face, taking off a little of the paint. "You know what I don't understand? I don't understand why everybody didn't just pack up their things and leave Sunnydale. I mean, who cares if it's a Hellmouth? All it does it chew people up and spit them out, leaving them all fucked up in the head."

"Well you would know, seeing as you're now an insane clown that likes to blow things up."

"And you flayed a guy alive. So you see, we all have issues to deal with."

Willow nodded. "True. So Tara died and I kind of went nuts. I loaded up on the black magic and hunted Warren down. I caught him in the forest, tortured him a little then flayed him alive just as Faith, Giles and Dawn got there."

"Dawn?"

"Faith's sister," Willow said dismissively. "Believe me, it's even more complicated than the Connor thing."

Joker licked his lips and leaned forward. "The Connor thing. Right, um…now I know I've never been that great at biology and I know Spike's not the smartest vampire in the universe, but I thought it was a well known fact that vampires couldn't have children."

"Well Spike and Dru did," Willow replied. "I don't know how it happened but Spike and Dru came to me for help. She was about nine months at the time. I hid them as best as I could because I knew Faith and Giles wouldn't react well. But after Dru's water broke, Connor started to die. Her body couldn't give birth. And surprisingly, she actually staked herself so he would live. His soul affected her like it was her own."

"So he's human."

She nodded. "Yeah. And he would be a toddler right now if not for the fact that he got kidnapped and taken to a hell dimension."

Joker nodded and began to play with his knife. Willow could tell he didn't really care about the whole Connor thing. So she decided to switch the subject to something he could appreciate. "Do you know what's just outside the city?"

"Arkham Asylum," he said immediately. "It's where they put all the crazies." He grinned. "Cuckoo, cuckoo."

"I mean besides that." She waited a second and then just decided to just tell him. "There's a little boarding school for gifted girls. At least, that's what people say. And they're right. These girls are special. They're special…" she stopped and took the knife from the Joker. "new…" she waved it around in front of him "Slayers." She rested the knife on his lips. "And underneath this special school is a vault filled with a boat load of cash and all kinds of valuable things. Now I was thinking that me, you and Spike should pay a special visit to this school and see if there's anything we want to take."

Joker took his knife back and put it in his coat pocket. "You want to know what I think?" He got off the couch and kneeled in front of her. He leaned in closely and when he spoke it was just above a whisper. "I think that you've become corrupted and naughty and I absolutely love it." He kissed her on the lips and let out a high pitched laugh. He sprang back up to his feet. "But before we go through with your little plan, I have something to take care of." He reached into his pocket and dug around in there until he found what he was looking for. It turned out to be a scalpel. "Oh Spike-y!" he yelled as he left the room. "Come out, come out, wherever you are! I want to put a smile on that face!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Gotham had three cemeteries: one about a mile from Arkham Asylum, one by the docks and one by the new Slayer school. The one by the Slayer school was the one that ironically the one with the least demonic activity (word about the arrival of the Slayers must have spread fast). It was also the one where the newer Slayers sometimes trained. At least, that was what Willow said. The Joker didn't really care about the details. When it was time to rob the Slayers, he would do it. Until then, he was going to have his own fun.

Currently, the Joker was following a pretty teenage girl. What a pretty little thing like her was doing out alone was beyond him. Unless she was a Slayer (and he doubted she was that) it wasn't safe at all for her to be out alone at night. Especially in a place like Gotham. The girl suddenly looked around, obviously aware she was being followed. Joker grinned. This was going to be very interesting.

The girl turned into a dark alley. She walked about halfway through it before stopping. "I know somebody's following me," she said loudly. "You better knock it off."

The Joker stepped just enough out of the shadows to be seen, but not enough for her to get a good look at his face. "But I was having so much fun," he pouted.

"Why were you following me?'

"Why wouldn't I follow you? After all, you're very…beautiful." He stepped out of the shadows completely. She gasped as she got a good look at his face.

"What?" he said innocently. He took a knife out of his pocket. "Is it the scars?" He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her against him. She struggled, but the knife to her throat put a quick end to that. "Want to know how I got them?" He pressed the blade against her throat as hard as he could without drawing blood. "My mother was a stage mom. She saw how handsome I was and got me every modeling gig she could. My brother, on the other hand, was ugly and she hated him for it. So one day, he comes upstairs to my room and pins me down. He was three years older than me and much bigger." He slid the knife into the right side of her mouth. "He puts a knife in my mouth and does this…" He sliced her face, starting from the corner of her lips and going all the way up to her ear. The same was done to the other side of her face. Blood was getting everywhere. "He did it so Mom would hate me too. And it WORKED!" He tossed the girl down to the ground and smoked a cigarette as he watched her die. It didn't take long.

"Wow Harris. That was a sight to be seen."

The Joker turned around. Spike had appeared out of nowhere. The vampire was smirking at him. "What?" Joker asked in annoyance.

Spike's smirk got even bigger. "Oh nothing. I'm just trying to think who that reminded me of just now." He walked over to the Joker and got right in his face. "Oh right, now I remember. You just remind me of _Angelus_."

The Joker grabbed Spike by the throat and pushed him against the wall. The stake was out of his pocket before the vampire could even blink. "I would be very careful if I were you, Spike-y," Joker hissed. He pressed the stake against Spike's chest. "This is a case where sticks and stones will only break your bones." He licked his lips. "Now, just because Willow hasn't killed you, that doesn't mean I'm not willing to do it for her."

Spike kneed Joker in the groin and punched the Clown Prince of Crime down to the ground. "You think you scare me whelp?" he asked. He kicked the stake out of Joker's hands. "You think there's something you can do to me Angelus already hadn't put me through?" He kicked Joker in the ribs. "You see, Drusilla turned me into a vampire, but Angelus made me a monster." He delivered another kick. "It's kind of the same with you. Your father turned you into a ticking time bomb but it was Angelus that pressed the detonator."

The Joker grabbed Spike's foot and pulled the vampire down to the ground. He got back up on his feet and grabbed the stake he had lost. He turned around to face Spike, only to find that Spike was now pointing a gun at him.

"Did you really expect me to come at you unarmed?" Spike asked. "Did you really think I was that stupid?"

"Yes," Joker replied honestly. He had never considered Spike a threat on the intelligence side of things.

Spike chuckled. "A lot of people have told me that." He cocked the gun. "You see, I've never been stupid; just rash and impulsive. Everybody thought Angelus was so smart, but the reality was that he was just sadistic fuck that thought he knew everything about everybody. But he never looked past the surface. He thought you were just the goofy best friend and the heart of the little Scooby gang. But I saw something in you the moment I laid eyes on you. I saw the monster waiting to be released. It just needed a little push."

The Joker cocked his head to the side. He hadn't been expecting this insightful little gem from Spike. "Wow, that was honest. I like honesty. So does Willow. Maybe that's why you're still alive."

Spike shrugged. "Maybe. She has developed a taste for the murdering, psychotic type. In fact--"

Whatever he was about to say was cut off by a bus pulling up in the alley. It stopped a couple feet short of them and a moment later Willow stepped out of it. But it was a different looking Willow. Her hair was now light blonde and she was wearing a pink blouse and bell bottom jeans. "Come on boys," she said. "We've got a Slayer school to invade."

Neither Spike or Joker moved. "Willow, what the hell have you done to yourself?" Spike asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Joker said. "I thought once you went black you never went back."

Willow glared at them. "I'm disguised as one of the new Slayers. I'm now Ellie Peterson until we get in and take control of the school. Now get in."

Spike put the gun back in his jacket pocket and got in the bus. But the Joker made no move to do what Willow said. "You know Will, I'm not the whipping boy like Spike is," he drawled out. "I don't like to be told what to do."

Willow merely shrugged. "Fine. Don't come then." She started to get in on the bus but then stopped. "You might not want to stay here though. Gordon's on his way to arrest you right as we speak and I'm sure he's bringing the Batman with him."

The Joker growled and got on the bus. Spike gave him a smug look as Willow started driving again. "So how are we getting in?" he asked in an attempt to keep himself from strangling Willow and staking Spike.

Willow grinned. "It's real simple: we're all going to pretend we're Slayers. Spike's going to get stabbed--"

"Like hell I am!" Spike objected.

Willow gave him a look that shut him right up. "Spike is going to get stabbed and we'll carry him up to the school so he can get "fixed". Now Spike, you'll have to keep your faced buried in against Xander until we get in. Just because I'm slapping a wig on you doesn't mean you'll look like a girl."

The Joker raised his hand. "Will, I'm with you on the Spike getting stabbed part-"

"I bet you are," Spike muttered.

Joker slapped him on the back of the head. "But we have one little problem: I don't look like a girl either."

"Look in the bag in the seat across from you," Willow said. "There's a dress, a pair of high heels and burka in it. I swiped it from Roheen, a Siberian Slayer who just tragically died tonight."

"Hold on a minute," Spike said. "If he's wearing a dress does that mean I have to wear a dress?"

"No, you get to wear a shirt and pants."

Joker grabbed the bag and took out the clothes. "So why do I get stuck with the dress?"

"Because it's a convenient way to hide that face. Besides, I figured you wouldn't mind, seeing as you got dressed up in a nurse's uniform while you were playing naughty nurse with Harvey Dent." She frowned as soon as the words left her mouth. "I did not mean to say it like that."

Spike screwed up in his face in disgust. "You really need to rephrase that Red."

Joker began to take off his clothes. "I had no intentions on playing naughty nurse with Harvey at that hospital." He slipped the dress over his head. "I don't like my lovers extra crispy. I've been down that road and his lips tasted like ashes."

"WHAT?" Spike and Willow yelled at the same time. The bus nearly swerved off the road as Willow turned around to look at him.

The Joker rolled his eyes. "Typical," he muttered. "The girl experiments with other girls and everybody thinks that's so cute and hot. But when the guy admits he's done a couple of guys, people lose their minds and nearly wreck buses. I'm telling you, there's a serious double standard going on around here people."

**So what do you think? Please read and review.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"You know, I don't get why some women complain about wearing heels," Joker said as they walked up to the school. "They're not that hard to walk in." Since the three Slayers they were impersonating were supposed to be at a cemetery just a mile from the school, it made no sense for them to pull up in the school bus. Spike had put up a fuss, but that was because Joker stabbed him in the gut and started carrying him around like a baby.

"I really hate you guys," Spike suddenly spoke up. He had most of his face hidden in Joker's shoulder, like Willow instructed, but his unhappiness about his current situation was still obvious. "I really hope nobody else sees this. Look at me! I'm a disgrace!"

"You're not a disgrace," the Joker said. He was talking to Spike like a concerned mother would talk to their upset child. "Sure you're wearing girl clothes and a wig and you have fake boobs--" he started to snicker "that are kind of--" he started giggling "SQUISHY!" He finally burst into full fledged laughter.

"Willow!" Spike whined. "He's making fun of my pudding filled balloon boobies!"

Willow glared at the both of them. "Spike, quit whining. It's annoying. And Xander, you really need to stop laughing. People will hear you and then your disguise won't work."

"Oh Will, you're being too serious," Joker said as he tried to get a hold of himself. "You should smile more. Smiling is good for you. Look at what it's done for me."

Willow and Spike both snorted. The Joker frowned. "Is there something wrong with the way I am?" he asked dangerously.

"No," Willow said innocently. "Oh look, we're finally here." She put her hand on Spike's side to pretend she was trying to stop the bleeding. "Maybe one of us should start screaming to get everyone's attention."

As it turned out, they didn't even have to do that. Another Slayer (who was wearing the ugliest ski hat that the Joker had ever seen) came out to greet them. "Oh my God! What happened?" she squeaked.

"There were demons and knives and then there was blood," Willow stammered. Her acting skills had definitely improved over time. "Vi, it's bad Like really bad."

Joker raised his eyebrows even though nobody could see them. Willow had obviously done her homework on who some of these girls were. But he had to wonder, how stupid was Vi? Did she not see that Willow wasn't whoever she was impersonating? Was she blind? Or just bewitched? Maybe Willow put a little spell on herself to make sure nobody noticed the difference until she wanted them too.

Which meant Willow had him playing dress up for nothing but her own amusement. And if that was her idea of fun…then he was going to get her some help. Serious and professional help.

Vi led them into the school. A Chinese Slayer and a scruffy looking guy were already standing in the entrance hall. Before Vi could even get a word out of her mouth, the Joker put Spike down, took out his gun and pulled her up against him, affectively using her as a shield. Willow and Spike got their guns out too and pointed them at the other people.

"Surprise," Willow said playfully. She grinned at the guy. "Hello Wesley."

"Willow," Wesley said in a low voice. "Spike. We've been wondering where you two went. Faith and Giles were worried you were dead."

"I think the word you should have used is _hoping_," Spike corrected. He took off his wig and threw it down on the floor. "I think they were hoping we were dead."

Wesley shrugged. "Think what you want." He turned to Willow. "Did you try to turn him into a woman? Because I have to tell you, that spell looks like it went terribly wrong."

The look on Spike's face was enough to send the Joker into another fit of giggles. He just couldn't help himself. Seeing Spike in drag was fucking hilarious. "Well, as I say, whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you STRANGER." He pulled off the burka and gave Wesley a big grin. "So I've heard from my lovely crayon breaking friend that you and your little friends are looking for me." He squeezed Vi's arm hard enough to make her cry out in pain. "Well ta-da! I'm right here."

The Chinese girl stared at him with wide eyes and then turned to Wesley. "What happened to his face?" she asked in very bad English. "He look crazy."

Joker chuckled. "I'm not crazy." He shot the girl right in the head. "I'm insane. There's a difference. We're ahead of the curb."

All out chaos broke out at this point. Vi started screaming and trying to get free from the Joker's grip. Wesley tried to attack but Willow captured him easily with a simple spell. Slayers were coming from everywhere, wanting to know what was going on. Spike started shooting his gun like crazy, not paying any real attention to who he was killing and who he was merely incapacitating. Willow was capturing the Watchers right and left. And as for the Joker, he started humming to himself and dragged Vi further into the school. He ran right into two Slayers and a boy who definitely wasn't old enough to be a Watcher. The Slayers looked like they wanted to just attack him but they didn't because he kept Vi right in front of him.

"Let her go," one of the Slayers snarled. She was a pretty thing, very curvy and had beautiful hair, but her aura screamed "heinous bitch".

The Joker grinned. "Say pretty please."

"Kennedy," Vi moaned. "Rona, help me."

"Gotham's Clown Prince of Crime has one of our Slayer's in his deadly grip," the boy said under his breath. "Once he was the heart of the Scooby gang, but the evil vampire Angelus dragged the White Knight down into the depths of hell."

"Andrew this is no time to be telling stories!" Rona hissed.

"Sure it is," Joker said with mock enthusiasm. "Stories are always fun." He motioned for Andrew to continue but now the boy looked too scared to say anything. "Oh come on Andrew. I was really eager to hear my life story." He sighed dramatically. "Well maybe I should just tell it myself." He licked his lips and pretended to think really hard. "Once upon a time, there was a boy named Xander Harris. He was the typical goofy nerd that always had a smartass comment. But what most people didn't know was that he hid his inner pain behind all that humor. His father was a drunk and a fiend that abused him and hurt him in ways nobody could imagine. But he hid that pain because he had his Willow and he was in love with a girl named Buffy. Buffy was the Vampire Slayer and he would have done anything for her. Even when he was dating Cordelia, his feelings never died. But then, one night, he was attacked by Angelus, who dated Buffy when he had a soul. Buffy should have killed Angelus but she didn't, because she still dug him even after he went psycho." He rolled his eyes. "Women. Anyway, Angelus cut Xander's face up into a big smile and Xander's sure Buffy would avenge him. But do you want to know what she did? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING!"

Vi flinched violently in his arms. Even Kennedy and Rona took a step back. The Joker took a deep breath to regain control over himself. "She acted like Angelus didn't do anything that bad. She even wanted to give him his soul back. Well Xander didn't like that and he decided to take matters into his own hands. But he knew he needed to change himself. He couldn't be the guy they all thought he was. And that ladies, is why I'm here today." He raised his gun and shot Kennedy, Rona and Andrew. Vi screamed and he laughed. This was fun.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay, it's okay," Joker said to Vi. He was trying to soothe her like a child. "I'm not going to kill you yet, not when you've been such a good little hostage." He looked around. "Now where did Willow go? I think it's time to find that money she was talking about."

"That is what this is about?" Vi squeaked out. "Money?"

"Well yeah," the Joker said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Did you think I hated Slayers or something?" He saw a Slayer on the second floor aiming a crossbow at him so he quickly got out of the way. "Dammit," he cursed. He raised his gun and fired off two more rounds. "It's not that I hate Slayers," he explained. "I just like killing people." He patted her on the head. "Cheer up and look on the bright side: you'll be the last Slayer standing very soon." He cackled madly and went to go find Willow and Spike.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Is everybody really dead?" Vi asked quietly.

Willow looked up. She had just turned her hair back to black and she felt so much better about it. "What?" she said in confusion.

"Did you guys kill everybody else at the school?"

Willow shook her head. "Wesley's still alive and I know a few of the Slayers still had pulses when we left. I don't think my boys noticed though."

Vi shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The Joker had insisted on taking her hostage for some reason. Willow suspected it was just to keep himself from getting bored.

"Why did you do it?" Vi asked. "Why did you turn your back on Faith and Mr. Giles?"

Willow looked at her in annoyance. So that was their official story these days. "It wasn't about turning my back on them." She sat down in the chair across from Vi. "Look, when Xander went psycho and killed Buffy, it fucked me up in the head. I was angry with Buffy because her selfishness help trigger his transformation and I never made peace with it. Then I became angry with Giles because he still sided with Buffy, even though Angelus killed his girlfriend. But I repressed all that anger because that was what they expected me to do."

"I'm sure Mr. Giles would have understood--"

"No he wouldn't," Willow growled. "He loved Buffy like a daughter. There was no reasoning with him about the subject. My relationship was never the same with him because of it. I focused on the magic and Tara. And when Tara was killed, there was only the magic. I drained the books from the Magic Box and killed Warren. I drained a guy named Rack and tried to find Jonathan and the other one. They got away. But something happened as soon as I drained Rack. It fed into my anger about Tara dying and my anger about the whole Buff/Xander thing. It corrupted me from the inside out, killing the old Willow." She traced her fingers over the veins that had reappeared over her cheeks. Sometimes they would go away if she really, really willed them too, but they always came back. "I haven't even seen Faith and Giles since our fight at the Magic Box. They tried to tell me it wasn't too late to stop what I was doing, but it WAS too late. I was too angry at Giles to listen to him and I was never close to Faith. What she said didn't matter. The only person who could have made a difference was long gone by that time." She got up off the chair and started to leave the room.

"If Xander had been there, could he have stopped you?" Vi asked suddenly.

Willow stopped in her track. This girl was smarter than she looked. "Yes," she said. "He could have pulled me back from the brink and saved me from myself. All Spike managed to do was convince me not to end the world."

She left Vi and went to her bedroom. She plopped down on her bed and rested her head against her pillow. What she hadn't told Vi was that she hadn't even tried to resist what Rack's magic had done to her or tried to go back to the way she used to be after it happened. Giving in to evil was easier than being a good guy. When you were a bad guy, you didn't have to care about doing the right thing or the fate of the world. You could do whatever you wanted.

Willow drifted off to sleep for a little while. When she woke up, the Joker was laying beside her. "Vi told me something very interesting a few minutes ago," he said as he counted the large stack of cash sitting on his chest. "It seems you've stolen my idea of having group therapy sessions with our victims."

"It wasn't a group therapy session," Willow said with a roll of her eyes. "It was just a little rant I had to get out. For it to be a group therapy session, I would have had to let Vi talk about her feelings too." She rubbed her eyes. "Where are the others?"

Joker shrugged. "I don't know. Connor and Fred were going out to meet somebody somewhere and Spike is doing whatever a Spike does." He threw the money up in the air. "Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does…"

Willow smacked him on the chest. "Stop that. Spike sang that for two days after we saw that movie and I about staked him."

Joker glared at her. "You know, I've killed people for less than that."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Willow grumbled. She grinned at him. "So what are you going to do with Vi?"

He gave her an exasperated look. "A magician never reveals his tricks."

"You're not a magician."

"Sure I am!" he said in a whiny voice. He sounded like an overgrown child. "I have a pencil trick."

Willow started to ask what that pencil trick was but decided against it. There were some things that were probably left better unanswered. Joker, satisfied that she was no longer objecting, jumped out of bed and began rummaging around the room like the madman he was.

"What are you doing?" Willow asked.

"Looking for something," he replied. He looked around for a few more minutes but didn't find whatever it was he was looking for. "Do you have some chains around here somewhere?" he finally asked.

"Upstairs in the attic," she answered. "Why do you need chains?"

"I need to make Vi a leash. Just because she's our hostage doesn't mean she doesn't need exercise." The Joker burst out into a fit of loud laughter and ran out of the room. Willow sighed and tried to go back to sleep. She wasn't going to concern herself with whatever the Joker had planned now. At least not until morning. She needed her beauty sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The old saying "when the cats away, mice will play" was proving itself to be very true at the moment. Willow was usually the cat; the unofficial mother of the house. Everyone except the Joker usually defaulted to her ruling. But today she was out running errands, and it had turned into every man/girl/vampire for themselves. It was complete chaos, and that was what the Joker loved about it.

And the best part was, he didn't even have to start the trouble. Spike did that all by himself. He had asked a question, Fred gave an answer he didn't agree with and they had been going at it ever since. What the Joker found most amusing was the way Fred had no problem in getting in Spike's face. She was small, but she had some spunk in her. He doubted she would ever show him that kind of fire, but he would settle for her terrified glances when she thought he wasn't paying attention.

But while Fred was just plain terrified of him, Vi was just…a mixed up bag of emotions. She was scared of him, no doubt about that. But he also sensed some anger about being trapped like a mouse in a mouse trap. He didn't blame her. Sure, the chain he had wrapped around her waist was long enough to allow her access to the kitchen, the bathroom, his room (where she slept) and the living room, but that was it. He would be angry too if somebody kept him chained up like that.

He glanced over at Vi. She was sitting on at the kitchen table, watching Connor's pathetic attempts to cook. She had been stripped of everything except for her red bra and panties. He licked his lips. "You know, with you chained up like this, this could be the start of a movie."

Vi gave him a disgusted look. "It doesn't sound like any movie I want to be a part of."

He chuckled. "You'll get over that soon. In fact, soon you'll be begging me to keep touching you." He took his switchblade out of his pocket and began to play with it. The question of the hour was what was he planning to do with Vi now? The answer was simple: there was no plan. He was just going to keep her around (as long as she didn't become too much trouble) and see where things went. If he could bend her to his will then he would have his own little Slayer. If she got to be a pain in the ass, he would kill her. It was a win-win situation.

"God you are so stubborn!" Fred yelled. "You can never admit when you're wrong!"

"Me? What about you? It's always about what you want Fred!"

"It's not about what I want! It's about common _fucking_ sense, which you don't seem to have!"

"Uh…Fred?" Connor said as smoke began to come out of the oven. "I think I did something wrong."

Vi tried to get up and help him but Joker stopped her. "Wait," he ordered. "This will get very entertaining in a few seconds."

She gave him a dirty look. "You won't be thinking so when Willow comes home and starts bitching about the house being burned down."

The Joker considered that. "Oh alright, put the damn fire out." He shook his head. "Nobody in this house knows how to have fun."

The words had barely left his mouth before the argument between Fred and Spike escalated to the point of her kicking him between the legs. The Joker burst out laughing. Either Fred had more guts than he originally thought or she knew that Spike was too whipped by girls to do anything back. "It looks like Spike isn't going to be producing any more hell spawn," he said gleefully.

Vi came back over to the table while Connor tried to separate Fred and Spike. "Do those two do this all the time?" she asked.

Joker shrugged. "How should I know? I don't care enough to pay attention. I just like seeing Spike getting kicked in the nuts. It puts a smile on my face."

"You already have a smile on your face."

"It puts an even bigger smile on my face." He paused. "Are we having a normal conversation?"

Vi made a face. "Oh God no. There's absolutely nothing normal about having a conversation with a freak like you."

The Joker got very angry very fast. He grabbed her by the hair and yanked her head back violently. "I would be very careful about what I would say if I was you," he hissed. "Because this is a case of where sticks and stones are only going to break YOUR bones." He licked his lips. "And if you really push it, you're going to find yourself in SEVERAL pieces. Got it?"

"Yes," she said quietly. The defiance in her had deflated. Now she sounded very, very scared, which was good for her sake.

The Joker let go of her hair but refused to let her leave the table. "Now," he said as he wrapped her arm around her shoulders, "let's get a little more personal. If I were to take off your underwear, would I find you to be a natural red head?"

Vi looked like she wanted to slap him. "Okay, okay, that's too personal," he said in a fake attempt to soothe her. "We'll get to that one later. Let's see…what's your full name?"

"Violet Harleen Quintzel."

He raised his eyebrows. "Your middle name is Harleen? Wow, I'm shocked. I was expecting Ann or Christine." He rested his chin on her shoulder. "I like it though. Harleen…Harley…" He nuzzled his face against her neck, knowing it would freak her out. "Harley Quintzel…Harley Quinn." He smiled. "That's it. You're my Harley Quinn."

"I'm not," she denied weakly.

He chuckled. "You will be soon."

"Xander, what the hell is going on?"

Joker turned around and found a ticked off Willow staring at him. "What?" he said innocently.

She glared at him. "Fred and Spike are tearing each other apart and you're groping your hostage."

"Well she's my hostage and I can grope her all I want."

"Maybe I should let you two sort this out by yourselves," Vi suggested. She got up and tried to leave.

"Sit down," Joker ordered as he grabbed her chain and yanked her back. He looked at Willow. "What do YOU care if I grope my Harley? I found her first."

She frowned. "What are you talking about Xander? Her name's Vi, not Harley."

He sighed impatiently. "Things change, Rosenberg." His tone was trying to tell her that this was the end of the conversation.

She didn't take the hint though. "His middle name is in Lavelle," she told Vi. "And in kindergarten--" she squealed and ran away, because the Joker lunged at her. Oh he was going to get her for that. Nobody brought up his middle name and got away with it. Absolutely nobody.

XXX

Batman stared at the two people in front of him. He had been out looking for the Joker when a woman and a man confronted him. They claimed they knew the Joker's real identity and they knew who his two new accomplices were too. Willow Rosenberg, Spike, Xander Harris…the Joker's name was Xander. Somehow, even knowing this, did nothing to humanize the Joker. From the way these two were talking, Xander had died a long time ago, leaving the Joker in his place.

The tale got even more strange as it went on, as the man talked about Slayers and vampires and witches and the how they were involved. Batman had seen a few vampires running around Gotham before, so he had no reason to think these people were lying, but it still seemed strange. Maybe it was because he never really put himself in the supernatural world before.

"Come on Batman," the woman said. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her whole aura screamed sex and violence. "You haven't been able to stop the Joker for very long; what are you going to do now when you're outnumbered three to one?"

"Well what do you plan on doing about it?" Batman asked.

"It's simple," the man said. He was British and in his mid to late forties. "We kill the clown."

"That's Giles's answer for everything these days," the woman said with a grin. "He's all obsessive and stuff."

"Faith," Giles growled. "This isn't a laughing matter." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a card. "Take this," he said to Batman, handing him the card. "Join us if you like. But if you're not prepared to kill the Joker, then stay out of our way. The Slayers are looking for blood…and so am I." With that, he and Faith disappeared into the night.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Vi felt like she was suffocating. The leash on her neck was really starting to get to her. She knew she could yank the chain off if she really wanted to, but she was afraid to really try that idea. If the Joker caught her doing that, she knew he wouldn't hesitate to kill her. So she stayed where she was, curled up beside the Joker, listening to his slow, heavy breathing.

She didn't really know why the Joker had taken such an interest in her. It wasn't like she was anything special. She wasn't even that great of a Slayer. Vampires and demons really creeped her out. Most of the other Slayers gave her grief about (especially Kennedy), so she had always tried to hide it. But the truth of the matter was, she didn't really want to be a Slayer. She wasn't sure exactly what she wanted, but she knew the Slayer life wasn't for her.

Making sure she was as quiet as possible, she slipped out of bed and went to look out the window. It was raining really bad. She wondered if anybody was out looking for her. She highly doubted it. Finding Joker, Willow and Spike would be the top priority. Finding her would be done if there was time. That thought depressed her and pissed her off at the same time. She hated not mattering to anyone.

"Why aren't you in bed Harley?"

Vi just about jumped out of her skin. She hadn't heard the Joker wake up at all. He was standing right behind her now, his hot breath blowing on her neck. She took a deep breath and hoped her voice wouldn't shake. "I was just looking out the window," she replied. "And I'm not Harley."

The Joker chuckled. "You'll be whatever I want you to be. And you're going to be my little Harley Quinn." He went back over to the bed and laid down. "Now come on. We need our beauty sleep."

Vi refused to move. "They'll come for me," she told him defiantly.

He grinned. "No they won't. They don't care about you. All they want is me and my head on a silver platter." He giggled. "Can't you just imagine that? What if they really did chop off my head and put it on a platter? Wouldn't that be neat?"

Vi looked down and didn't answer him. Tears were started to spill out of her eyes. She knew he was right. Nobody really wanted to come save her. They were probably expecting her to get herself out of this mess. She bit her lip and lowered her head even further. She didn't want Joker to see that she was crying.

He noticed of course. There wasn't much that could get past him. He sighed deeply. "If you're going to cry, you can go to another room," he told her. "Crying is really annoying." He grinned devilishly at her. "Now, on the other hand, screaming is music to my ears."

"I bet it is," Vi muttered. She got back in bed but didn't close her eyes. Sleep felt very far away.

"They might not want you back," Joker said without rolling over to look at her. "But that's okay: because I do."

Vi knew that had to be a trick of some sort. A way of setting her up. But she still couldn't stop herself from feeling a little happy about hearing the words coming out of _somebody's_ mouth. Even if it was a psycho clown killer.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"I can't believe him!" Willow exclaimed. She downed the shot of whiskey she had poured for herself. "What in the hell is he thinking? I don't see how keeping Vi or Harley or whatever the fuck he's calling her is going to help us at all. She's just going to cause problems."

Spike sighed. She had been ranting about the Joker for an hour now. "Why do you even care what he does?" he asked. "We've got bigger things to worry about. Word out on the street is that Faith and Giles are trying to recruit the Batman to their side."

"So?" Willow said stubbornly.

"So?" Spike repeated. "That means we're not just dealing a bunch of pissed off Slayers. We're dealing with a freak and the entire Gotham police department."

"What's the matter Spike? You scared of those odds?"

"No, I'm just trying to remind you why you need to get your head back in the game. Your little jealous rage is going to cause problems and get us all killed."

Willow's jaw dropped open. "What exactly am I jealous of, oh wise one?"

"You're jealous of Harley! She's getting the attention you always wanted. You wanted Xander to love you but he loved Buffy. Now you want Joker to love you but he's fixated on Harley." Spike took the bottle of whiskey away from her so she couldn't drink anymore. "The thing you're not realizing though is that he has turned into a complete sociopath. He doesn't love anybody and you better realize that really quickly or you'll turn out to be as pathetic as Harley."

Willow folded her arms over her chest. She knew what he was saying was true, but she didn't want to believe them. "What do you know about love? You don't even have a soul."

Spike's eyes darkened. "I don't need a soul to love. I loved Drusilla. I love Connor and Fred. I'm in love with you. It might not be conventional human love, but I feel it. It burns through me, it consumes me during every moment of my existence. You don't know what I would give to have you look at me the way you look at him. But you won't do it because you are drawn to the pain and the misery. He didn't care about you when you were teenagers and he CAN'T now. And it hurts you because you know it. Deep down inside, you know he's nothing but a monster. Yet you hang on because not only do you want to cling on to the memories of the old Xander, but you feel like you deserve the pain and the misery because you still feel guilty about Tara."

Willow stormed out of the room. She didn't want to listen to Spike anymore. The damn vampire knew her better than anyone else and it frustrated her sometimes. She went out on the back porch to get some air. Connor was already out there with a sword in his hands. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Connor refused to look at her. "Batman and the Slayers are coming for us."

"We knew this already Connor."

He shook his head. "They actually have a plan now. They're going to burn us out of our hiding place and take us by surprise. They're going to dust Spike, have the witches from the Coven capture you and strip you of your powers."

"Which might kill me at this point."

He nodded. "Faith mentioned that. I'm not sure if they really care. Batman wants to take Joker down and throw him in Arkham. They haven't decided what they're going to do with me and Fred yet."

"How do you know all this?" Willow asked.

"I spied on them. I found Batman and stalked him for a few hours. He led me right to the Slayers. It was easy to eavesdrop. Almost too easy." He put his sword down. "Some of the Slayers survived the attack you guys made on that school."

"Yeah I know."

"Kennedy was one of them. It seemed like she's pretty determined to kill the Joker before Batman gets him."

"Understandable since he shot her. Is the Coven here yet?"

"No but they're on their way. They want to rehabilitate you."

Willow chuckled. The witches in the Coven were all about helping people. They were the ones that had created the army of Slayers in the first place so the First wouldn't take over the world. As a group they were powerful, but she knew she could take them if she went for the kill, not for the capture as they would ultimately do. "Did they talk about Vi?"

Connor shrugged. "Batman and Wesley were the only two really interested in saving her. I actually felt really disgusted hearing the others talk about her like she's not important."

Willow sighed in frustration. She had been hoping the other Slayers would be rallying to save their friend. She wanted them to take her away so Joker couldn't have her anymore. "I'll put some spells around the house to help keep us hidden. Tomorrow morning we'll get everyone together to talk about how we want to deal with this. Keep Fred with you, me or Spike at all times. Don't go off on your own either. They might stoop to our levels just to get us."

He nodded. "Okay." They went back in the house and locked the door behind them. He went upstairs to bed and she put some protective spells around the house. They would make the house much harder to find and give off alarms to warn them if they had been discovered.

She went upstairs and peeked into Joker's room. She was infuriated to see Harley and Joker sleeping in the same bed. Letting out a low growl, she stormed into her room and slammed the door. Who was she kidding? Spike was right; she was jealous. Frustrated, she slammed her fist into her mirror. Why was she letting Joker affect her like this? Nothing was going to happen between them. She turned on her radio and flopped down on her bed. It was time to listen to country music (the music of pain) and mope until morning.


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh Harley!" Joker called out. "Where are you Harley?" He looked around on to the floor to see if he saw the chain anywhere but he didn't. "Come on Harley," he pouted. "You know I don't like playing hide and seek. Where did you go?"

"She's in the bloody bathroom, you moron," Spike snapped. "Why are you looking for her anyway? You know she can't escape."

Joker ignored him. He had a wonderful idea and he only wanted to share it with Harley. Willow and Spike wouldn't approve of it because they believed they all had to be more careful. Apparently the Batman and the little Slayers were coming after them. Big whoop. He had chaos to cause and innocent people to kill.

"What is it?" Harley asked him when she finally came out of the bathroom.

"Come this way my dear," Joker said, leading her out of the kitchen. "And close your eyes. Mr. J has quite the surprise for you."

"Is it a surprise I'm actually going to like?" she asked as they went upstairs.

"Of course it is. What girl doesn't like a makeover?" He led her into his room and shut the door. "Okay, open your eyes."

Harley opened her eyes. Sitting on the bed was a brand new red and black court jester outfit. "That's for me?" she asked uncertainly.

"Of course," Joker replied happily. "You see, you and I are going to a little party tonight so I can introduce you to all of Gotham. And your current look just won't do." He undid her chain and handed her the outfit. "Now hurry up and change. We have to get out of here before Willow notices we're leaving. She's been really bitchy lately for some reason."

Harley took the outfit from him but didn't do anything. He frowned at that. "This is the opposite of hurrying you know."

"You keep looking at me."

"I know I am. I'm not planning to turn away any time soon."

She sighed and reluctantly began to change in front of him. He smirked and made a point of taking in every inch of her body. "I don't know why you're acting so modest Harley. If you've got it, you should flaunt it."

"Flaunt what?" she asked as she put the hat on her head.

"IT. You have to flaunt IT. You know, your girly parts or whatever IT is supposed to be. I'm not even sure what it is. I can just tell when a girl is flaunting it." He stopped for a minute. "Dear God, I'm babbling like Willow. Kill me now."

Harley picked up one of his guns.

"I didn't mean literally!" he snapped. He grabbed some of his face paint and sat her down on his bed. "Now stay still. I need to complete your new look."

She let go of the gun and did what she was told. He painted her face white and then painted around her eyes with black. He also put some black lipstick on her too while he was at it. "There we are. Now we're ready to party."

XXXXX

Harley shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She and Joker had sneaked out of the house and met up with some of his goons. Joker had given her a gun and told her to follow his lead. She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but she knew it couldn't mean anything good.

For a second, she thought of turning the gun against the Joker. If she was ever going to escape, this was her shot. But she quickly chased those thoughts away. Where would she go if she did kill the Joker and got away? Back to the Slayers? Back to a life of constantly fighting the forces of evil? That wasn't what she wanted. Being with the Joker was unpredictable and dangerous, but it was simple. She didn't have to care about the world and forces of light and dark; there was only the simplicity of chaos.

"Where are we?" she asked as they pulled up to a large mansion.

The Joker licked his lips. "We are at the prestigious and newly rebuilt Wayne Manor. You see, Bruce Wayne is somewhat of a celebrity here in Gotham. And what better way to get the Batman's attention than kidnapping Gotham's most notorious bachelor?" He began to cackle loudly. "And Mr. Wayne is also just happening to have a nice little party and I thought I could debut you there. You're going to make such a good impression for all the little boys and girls." He stopped laughing and gave her a serious look. "Aren't you?"

She nodded quickly, not wanting to make him mad. She knew if she was going to stay with him she had to do things she previously thought were unthinkable. That was the only way she would get to live. Because in all honestly, life was all she had going for her anyway.

"You're wrong you know," Joker said as they got out of the car.

"About what?" she asked, startled by his sudden declaration.

"You're not alone anymore. You've got me babe. And we're going to set the world on fire."


	11. Chapter 11

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Willow said in frustration as she stared into the Joker's empty room. "What part of we have to stay together did he not understand?"

"I think it might have been the part where he and Harley were counted as part of the we," Fred said helpfully.

Willow sighed. She had come up to Joker's room to talk to him and had found the window open. A search of the house proved that neither he nor Harley were there anymore. "Son of a bitch. Where would they even go?"

"I don't know, but maybe we shouldn't worry about them," Fred suggested timidly. "I mean, I know he was your friend a long time ago and while I totally respect that because I don't want to be flayed alive, but he's too unpredictable to trust. How do we know he won't turn on us or abandoned us to save his own ass? And what are we supposed to do if Batman or the Slayers catch him. Are we supposed to risk our lives for him? Because I know damn well he won't do it for us."

Willow couldn't help but chuckle. Fred was so cute when she babbled. "You're right," she admitted, surprising Fred. "We can't trust him. He's manipulative, he's insane, he's getting Harley to follow him like a little lapdog…but I can't let him go. Not yet anyway. I'm not asking you or Connor or Spike to risk your lives for him. You have no reason to do it. I do on the other hand."

"Oh how sweet Wills," Spike said sarcastically. He pushed past the girls and started searching through Joker's room. "It's nice to know that when it comes to love, you're still doing the whacky."

Willow glared at him. "First of all, saving a valuable ally is not the whacky, regardless of my feelings."

"He's a ticking time bomb!" Spike snapped. "He's a narcissistic clown make-up wearing freakish sociopath that doesn't give a damn about you, his girlfriend or anyone else on this damn planet besides himself."

"Jeez Dad, don't hold back your feelings," Connor said. He came into the room and started helping Spike with his search. "Tell us how you really feel."

"Can it Connor," Spike snapped. He looked back at Willow. "He's not here to be your ally Wills. He's here because you saved him and he recognizes your willing to do that again, no matter what the consequences."

"That's just…" Willow stopped because she didn't know if she could safely deny all that. "What are you two doing? This isn't even your room."

"Looking for clues," Spike answered. He got down on his knees and reached under the bed. "The clown is up to something."

"Oh what could he possibly be--" Willow's question trailed off as Spike pulled out a spell book from under. "What the hell? That's one of my books."

Spike opened up to the page that had a bookmark in it. "Oh boy," he muttered.

"What is it?" Fred asked.

He held the book up so they could all see it. "The whelp has been looking up love potions."

Willow groaned. It took almost no magical ability to make potions, so it was possible for Joker to brew whatever the hell he wanted.

"You think he used it on Harley?" Fred asked. "Because I mean, she's been getting closer to him but it's been kind of gradual."

"He probably hasn't used it yet," Spike predicted. He was studying the recipe for the potion. "This thing he has here only takes a few minutes to really kick in." He looked up at Willow. "This one he has marked is the strongest love potion in existence. If he gives to his new little Slayer…Will, you've seen how possessive Slayers can be on their own. What the hell is this potion going to do to her?"

XXXXXX

"Here, drink this."

Harley frowned at the flask Joker had handed to her. "What is it?"

He grinned at her. "Drink it and find out."

She stared at him warily for a second before complying. Whatever it was, it tasted absolutely terrible. "What is that?" she asked after only one gulp.

"It's just something I made," he said innocently. He took his gun and ran the barrel over her face. "Now hurry up and drink the rest of it. I don't want to be out here all night."

She did what he said, plugging her nose as she did so she could avoid the taste. "Satisfied?" she choked out after she was done.

"Completely." He took the flask and put it in his coat pocket. He motioned for his flunkies to go on ahead of them. One of the flunkies knocked on the door and they waited. Harley gripped her gun tightly, feeling a little weird now. Whatever he had given her had one hell of a kick to it.

A butler answered the door and they pushed past him to get in. Harley gulped as she followed Joker in, her former nervousness replaced by something else. Something she couldn't quite describe.

"Wow!" Joker said loudly, shooting up his gun up in the air just to make some people scream. "Now this is some manor." He grabbed some crab cakes and stuffed them into his mouth. "I mean, I've heard this place was a beauty, but I had no idea it was this nice."

Suddenly Harley knew what she was feeling. It was love. Pure, undiluted love for a psycho clown that was making a gigantic scene right in front of her. How was she so blind to it before? Had she really thought anything but good things about him? He had saved her from her pathetic existence as a good Slayer and showed her the real reason she was alive.

It was to be his. Only his Harley Quinn.

Joker took her hand and spun her around. "This is my Harley Quinn. And she wants to see Mr. Fancy Pants himself, Bruce Wayne." He started whistling like he was calling for a dog. "Oh Brucie! Where are you? Somebody's going to get shot if you don't come out and play!"

Bruce Wayne stepped forward. "I'm right here. What do you want?"

Joker grinned. "Oh I want all kinds of things. Fear, chaos, confusion, sex, food--all the usual stuff." He pointed his gun right at Bruce. "Oh, and I want to kidnap you. I can't leave out that part. It's my favorite part, right after the chaos and the sex of course."

Bruce didn't look intimidated. In fact, he walked right up to Joker and placed the gun right up to his temple. "The only way you'll take me is if you kill me."

Joker's grin got even bigger. "That's where you're wrong. Harley?"

"Yes Mr. J?" Harley said, eager to please her love."

"Mr. Wayne seems to want to do things the hard way. I say, you show him exactly how that's done."


	12. Chapter 12

Joker chuckled as Harley advanced on Bruce Wayne. He could tell by her eyes that the potion had taken full effect. Now in all honesty, he hadn't needed the love potion to make her fall in love with him. He could have done it with just his mind games, but he figured with the Slayers out for his blood, it would be useful to get one of them completely devoted to him as quick as possible so she could provide a little extra protection. Besides, given how strong the potion was and how much he gave her, it was sure to drive her completely insane, which was going to be fun for him to take advantage of.

"Now this is TRUE entertainment," he told the terrified party guests as Harley and Bruce fought. He grabbed some lady's champagne and downed it in one gulp. "You see people, this is what you do at a real party.

Bruce ducked a roundhouse kick from Harley. Her momentum kept her spinning and by the time she stopped herself, he was smashing a glass over her head.

Joker let out a high pitched laugh. "Oh look, Brucie wants to play. I want to play too now."

"Well this is going to make this much easier."

He turned around and two fists came crashing right into his face. He went flying across the room, landing head first on the floor. "Okay, now that hurt," he grumbled. He looked up and saw Faith and Kennedy glaring at him. "Oh hell," he cursed. He frowned at Kennedy. "Didn't I kill you already?"

She smirked. "I guess you didn't get the job done."

Harley let out a shriek and pounced on Faith and Kennedy. The three girls all went tumbling down to the ground. The Joker exposed the knife hidden in his boot and tried to kick into Faith's ribs. She caught his foot and yanked him down to the ground. He kicked her in the face with his other foot and rolled back up to his feet.

"You know, it's been a long time since I've tussled with a Slayer," he said. He pulled Harley to her feet and held her back. "I might be a little rusty at this."

Harley was trying to get free from his grip. "Let me at them Mr. J!" she pleaded. "I'll take them both out."

He chuckled. "Patience Harley. There's no need to hurry. It's only two against two."

"Not exactly."

Joker groaned silently to himself as he turned around to find Batman standing behind him and Harley. "Can't you ever just stay away?" he asked. "We're not ready for you yet."

Batman hit him in the chest, sending him stumbling back into Faith's grip. Harley kicked Batman in the face, and then delivered a Mike Tyson like punch right to Kennedy's nose.

"Wait a minute," Faith muttered. She was staring at Harley intently. "Who--"

The Joker laughed. "She looks familiar, doesn't she? She should--she's the slayer formerly known as Vi."

Faith spun him around and held him up by his shirt collar. "What did you do?" she snarled.

He grinned. "I turned her into my little Harley Quinn. You see Faith, you always need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harley." He let out a laugh. "Oh, and I also have this." He kicked his knife boot up, finally managing to stick the blade right in her gut. She dropped him and he pulled his boot out. He clubbed her in the back and reached into his coat pocket for another knife. "You know, I'm almost sorry I have to do this," he said regretfully. "I see a lot of potential in you Faith."

She kicked the knife out of his hand and took him down. She straddled his hips and put her hands around his throat. "You know, I really don't like killing humans," she growled. "But for you, I'll make an exception."

Suddenly a bright green light hit Faith right in the head, sending her crashing all the way back into the wall. The Joker sat up just in time for Willow to grab him by the hair. She already had Harley captured in some sort of spell. Kennedy and Batman were out cold.

"Uh oh, Mommy's mad," Joker said with giggle.

Willow glared at him. "Do you have any idea what you've done to Harley? You could have driven her insane. You probably have. That potion recipe you used is completely volatile."

He laughed uncontrollably. He didn't know how she knew what he had done, but he didn't care. "Oh yes, I'm very aware of what I did."

She frowned and hit him with a spell. He felt his body go up in the air, but he was out cold before he came crashing back down to the floor.


	13. Chapter 13

Joker woke up to somebody dumping a bucket of water over his face. "Careful with that," he grumbled as he opened his eyes. "You're going to make my make-up run."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Sorry, I forgot to care." He threw the bucket to the floor. "Willow got that love potion out of Harley's system. Unfortunately, your new girlfriend is still completely batty." He gave Joker a good glare. "And still completely devoted to you for some reason."

"You're making it sound like that's a bad thing," Joker said in amusement. He got to his feet and tried to wipe some of the water off his face. That only smeared his make-up all around. "I think an insane Slayer is exactly what we need right now."

"Actually I really disagree with that. Slayers are big enough pains in the asses when they're sane. God knows what's going to happen now that yours isn't playing with a full deck."

Right on cue, Harley came into the room. "Mr. J!" she said happily. "I was worried about you Puddin'. I was worried that mean old bat Willow tried to hurt you."

Spike smirked. "Puddin?"

Joker glared at him. "Don't you have a witch's ass to kiss?"

Harley wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. "Oh don't let that dumb Spike get you down Mr. J. He's just mad that he's completely Willow whipped."

Spike rolled his eyes. "It's better to be Willow whipped than taking orders from the Clown Prince of Stupidity standing next to you."

"Oh, and you're just the king of intelligence, aren't you Spike-y?" Joker snapped back. He was starting to really lose his patience with the bleached blonde vampire. "Look, I don't like you and you don't like me. We all know this. But you're really starting to piss me the hell off. If you've got such a big problem with me, then why don't you do something about it? Why don't you just go ahead and try to kill me?"

Harley shook her head. "Mr. J--"

"Quiet you!" he said to her. He grinned at Spike. "Come on, I know you want to do it. Go ahead and try to kill me."

"Nobody is killing anybody," Willow snapped. She glared at Joker and Spike. "We do not have time for this crap. The Slayers are getting antsy, and that stunt at Bruce Wayne's party has only egged them on. It won't be long until they make their move." She got right into Spike's face. "I need you to go get every demon and vampire you possibly can and get them on to our side. I want the numbers advantage if we can get it."

Spike sent one last glare at Joker before nodding his head. "Fine. Whatever." He turned around and stormed out of the room.

Willow shook her head. "Damn vampires and their mood swings." She looked at Harley. "I want to talk to Joker alone."

Harley crossed her arms over her chest. "What makes you think he wants to talk to you?"

Joker rolled his eyes. "Be nice Harley. I can talk to the witch if she wants to talk to me."

Willow watched Harley carefully until she left the room. "You know, after all this Slayer crap is over, I have a feeling I might have to kill her. She's going to become problematic."

Joker grinned at her. "What if I don't want you to kill her? What if I told you I loved her?"

"I would say you were full of shit because you don't care about anybody. Spike cares about people more than you do and he doesn't even have a soul."

"Spike is an imbecile," Joker muttered. He shook his head in disgust. "You know, sometimes I think Spike is bipolar. One minute he's this "Big Bad" that wants to kill everyone and the next he's a complete pansy taking orders from you."

"Spike's issues are not the issue here," Willow informed him. "The issue here is you. I need to know if I can trust you until this whole Slayer thing is over."

He gave her an amused look. "You seriously think you can trust me?"

"I just want to trust you enough so I don't have to be constantly looking over my shoulder while we're dealing with this," she replied. "Look, the Slayers want us all dead. You, me, Spike, Harley, Connor, Fred--they'll kill all of us and justify it because we're "evil". And just because you'll never admit it doesn't mean we don't need each other." She looked him directly in the eyes and for a minute he could have sworn he saw some of the old Willow there. "Xander, I'm asking you for one last favor. Be on my side just one more time. If you want to turn on me afterwards, fine. Have at it. But please, help me with this. Help me kill these damn Slayers."

Joker tilted his head to the side. "Well…since you asked so nicely…" He took her hand and shook it. "You've got yourself a deal."

XXXXX

Wesley stared at Giles in disbelief. "You can't seriously be doing this. This is insanity. You're going to get us all killed!"

Giles shook his head. "It's what has to happen. To take out the Joker, we need to come up with something as insane as he is. This plan with Wolfram and Hart is the most insane thing I could think of."

Wesley shook his head. He felt like he needed to stop this. This wasn't going to help anything. This was going to blow up in their faces. But despite these feelings, he knew it was too late. The spell was just being finished. The thing inside the box was already back.

Angelus was one of the undead again.


	14. Chapter 14

Willow eyed City Hall from her window in the van. "You guys remember the plan?" she asked.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yes, we remember the bloody plan. You've went over it like a hundred times already. Now can we hurry up and get started? I'd like to get inside before it gets too sunny out."

"Aw, does Spike-y not want to be a crispy critter?" Joker asked playfully.

"Bite me whelp."

"How about I just stake you instead?"

"How about I kill you both and make my headache go away?" Connor growled.

Willow sighed and rubbed her temples. "Boys. You can't live with them, but for some reason, you just don't kill them and get it over with." She looked over Fred, who was clutching her laptop to her chest. "You okay?"

Fred nodded. "I'm okay. I'm just feeling a little sick to my stomach. A lot of people are about to die."

"I know," Harley said happily. "Isn't it wonderful?"

Willow rolled her eyes. Harley was obliviously insane, and she found herself a little envious of the girl. "Come on," she said. "Let's get this over it. We have a lot of work to do tonight."

XXXXXXXXX

Angelus watched Giles with amusement. If the Watcher was expecting him to go along with his little plans, the poor man was sadly mistaken. Sure, he wanted to kill Xander, but he was going to do it in his own way.

Faith came running down the stairs. "Giles, we have a problem," she said as she turned on the television. She switched it to channel eight. "Just watch this."

The mayor was tied to his chair, his head dripping blood and his face painted like the Joker's. Joker and Willow were sitting on either side of him, and they were grinning at the camera. "Hello Gotham," Willow said pleasantly. "How are you doing tonight? I'm sure you're doing better than the mayor here."

Joker grabbed the mayor by the jaw and yanked his head around. "I think we were a little too rough on him Will." He giggled insanely. "Oh well."

Angelus watched the two of them in amusement. Willow and Xander had definitely come a long way in the years he had been gone. Willow had grown into one beautiful evil bitch, which was something that not even he could have predicted. As for Joker, he was completely different from Xander. Maybe that was the mistake Angelus made last time. He assumed he was just dealing with the pathetic Xander Harris dressed as a clown. Now he could see that Xander and the Joker were as different as night and day. And to be honest, he kind of liked the Joker. Sure, he was still going to kill the freak, but he wasn't going to do it with hatred.

"Now Faith, Giles, Batman, Slayers, I know you're all watching this," Willow said. "And we've decided we're tired of hiding. We're tired of the cat and mouse game. If you want to stop us, get to City Hall in ten minutes, or we start destroying Gotham building by building."

Faith looked at Giles and the two of them left the room. Angelus smirked and kept watching the television. Joker was cackling insanely, and the camera was cut off as he put a knife up to the mayor's throat. Angelus got the feeling that going to City Hall was not going to do any good. In fact, he had a feeling that anybody that went there was going to be walking directly into a trap. That suited him just fine though. He wanted the playing field thinned out a little. The less people standing between him and Joker, the better.


	15. Chapter 15

Faith led the Slayers into City Hall. She tried to ignore the sick feeling in her gut as they stepped over the dead bodies Willow and the others had left for them. This was all going to be over soon. One way or another, all the chaos was going to end.

"Are you sure they're still here?" Kennedy asked. She had her sword raised, ready to decapitate the first evil thing that even dared to cross her path.

"Where else would they go?" Faith replied. Only now she wasn't so sure anymore. Now she had the feeling that maybe she shouldn't have led the Slayers in here. Finding Willow and Joker couldn't be this simple. With them, nothing was simple. "Forget it," she suddenly ordered. "Everybody fall back. We've got to get out of here."

"What? Why?" one of the other Slayers asked.

"Just go," Faith ordered. "They're not here. They're gone." She couldn't explain how she knew that, but now that she had said it, she just knew it was true. She, like a complete idiot, had probably just led them all into a trap. "Come on people, fall back! Fall back now!"

XXXXXXX

"What in the hell are they doing?" Connor asked

Joker sighed. He and the others were watching the Slayers from across the street. "It looks like they figured out we're not home." He took a detonator out of his pocket. "That's such a shame. I left them such a pretty message and now they won't get to see it." He pressed the red button on the detonator.

City Hall blew up with such force that it broke the windows of the buildings next to it, the ground shook and the windows of Willow's car rattled. Joker led out a high pitched laugh. "I never get tired of doing that!" he announced.

Harley kissed his cheek. "That's because you're so good at it Mr. J."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Oh quit kissing his ass Harley. Nobody likes an ass kisser." She started the car back up and started driving. "Where to next boys and girls?"

"How about we go back to the Slayer school?" Spike suggested. "Not all of those prissy little Watchers are dead."

"Not all the Watchers are prissy Spike," Fred reminded him. "Giles and Wesley can be pretty bad ass when they want to be."

"Bollocks. Even the whelp here is more bad ass than those two wankers."

Joker glared at him. "What did I tell you about calling me that?"

"I don't know. I wasn't listening."

Well that made sense. Spike never really listened to anybody. But since Joker had been insulted, he slapped Spike on the back of the head anyway. He couldn't just let anybody get away with calling him names. It would eat away at his reputation.

Willow drove them up to the Slayer school. Everything looked quiet and peaceful, but it also looked very eerie. "I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they find out all their Slayers have been blown up," Harley said. "It's going to be so funny!"

Connor just shook his head. "I don't know if they're going to be reacting to much of anything."

"What? Why?" Fred asked.

"I smell death."

Spike stopped in his tracks too. "I do too," he admitted. "I don't think there's anybody alive in there."

Willow and Joker looked at each other before looking at Spike. "But who could have killed them?" Willow asked. "Can you tell who was in there?"

Spike gulped. "Yeah, but it shouldn't be possible. There's no way he could be in there. He's dead. Joker staked him years ago."

"Yeah, well death can't keep a good vampire down for long."

Joker and Willow turned around in shock. Angelus had come out of nowhere. Before either of them could react, he grabbed them both by the throat and picked them up.

Angelus grinned evilly at them. "Hello Willow. Hello Xander. Did you miss me?"


	16. Chapter 16

Ever since he had learned about vampires and demons and all that fun stuff, very little had shocked Joker over the years. Even Buffy's refusal to kill Angelus hadn't shocked him, because deep down, he had been expecting that. He knew that when the Slayer looked at the big bad Angelus, all she saw was her former boyfriend. That was unfortunate for her (because it led to her untimely death) but it was expected none the less.

But seeing Angelus right here, right now, and having the bastard's fingers wrapped around his neck and seeing that damn smirk was very shocking. Joker had never expected this to happen. He didn't know how or why it happened, but he was not happy about this sudden turn of events. This threw quite a few wrenches in his plans to say the least.

"What's the matter Xander?" Angelus asked. "You don't look very happy to see me."

Harley kicked Angelus in the stomach, causing him to drop Joker and Willow. The insane Slayer pulled Joker out of the way as Spike rushed his grandsire. He attempted a spear but Angelus dodged it and used Spike's own momentum to toss him out of the way. Connor hit Angelus in the face twice before his third hit was blocked and he was sent to the ground by a hard kick to the head.

"Connor!" Fred cried out, effectively bringing Angelus' attention on her.

Angelus licked his lip. "Well aren't you a pretty one?" he said with an evil grin. "Look at you. You're all neck, aren't you?"

Joker pulled a stake out of his pocket. If looks could kill then Angelus would already be dust in the wind. Harley was trying to do her best to hold him back. "Don't do it Mr. J," she pleaded. "Just get out of here. I'll take care of him. You just need to go."

"Yeah Xander, let your groupie do your dirty work," Angelus taunted. "Hide behind a woman, just like you always do. It's what you're best at."

Joker shoved Harley away as hard as he could. "I didn't hide a woman the last time I staked you," he growled. "And I'll be damned if I'm going to hide behind one as I stake you again."

Angelus and Joker began to circle each other slowly. Spike, Connor, Fred and Harley were watching in a nervous anticipation. Joker couldn't even see Willow anymore but he assumed she was watching too.

"Do you really think I'm going to give you an opportunity to stake me again?" Angelus asked. He sounded like he was amused by this whole thing, which just pissed Joker off more.

"Oh I don't think you're going to give me anything," Joker replied. He had such a tight hold on the stake that he was shocked he hadn't snapped it in half yet. "But I'm going to take my opportunity, whether you like it or not."

Angelus chuckled. "No, you see, I made a mistake last time by letting you take your opportunity. And unlike Spike-y over there, I don't make the same mistake twice."

"No, you just make new ones," Willow growled. She came out of nowhere and blasted Angelus with some sort of green light. It hit him right in the side and it lifted him up off his feet and sent him crashing down on to the nearest parked car.

Joker burst out laughing. "Now that's a neat trick," he admitted.

Spike looked at Willow in amazement. "Where in the hell did you go?"

Willow shrugged. "I just made sure I wasn't noticeable until I wanted to be. I wanted him to see how it felt being taken by surprise."

Joker kissed her on the head and ruffled her hair. "And that is why we adore you Will."

Harley growled. That little display of affection looked like it sent her mind over the edge, which wasn't necessarily a good thing for someone who was already insane. "Mr. J!"

Joker shrugged innocently. "What? That didn't mean anything darling, I swear!" The words sounded insincere even to him.

Angelus got up slowly. "You're going to pay--"

"Capture!" Willow yelled, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence. This time a blue light erupted from her hands and it wrapped itself around Angelus so he couldn't move no matter how hard he struggled. "We really, really don't want to hear your crap at the moment," she informed him.

"Uh Will, I hate I to break it to you, but his mouth is still free to move," Spike said. "He's still not going to shut his mouth."

Joker started walking towards Angelus with the stake. "I can fix that real quick."

Willow stopped him before he could stake Angelus though. "Wait a second," she said. "I've got a better idea."

Angelus snorted. "Yeah, I doubt it."

Willow glared at him. "Shut up."

Amazingly enough, he did shut up. But from the look on his face, it didn't look like he really wanted to be quiet. _Probably another spell at work_, Joker thought to himself. "What exactly do you have in mind?" he asked Willow.

She grinned. "How about when we make Gotham literally burn, we start with him…literally."

He began to grin as he realized what she was implying. "Will, I could kiss you again because you're so brilliant."

Harley grabbed him and pulled him away from Willow. "You better not!" she exclaimed. "Or I swear to God, I'm going to--"

Joker glared at her. "Har, you're really becoming a pain in the ass," he warned her. "Do you know what I like to do with those?"

That shut her up real quick.

Spike leaned over towards Fred and Connor. "Anyone else smell trouble brewing?"

Connor nodded. "Oh yeah."

Fred also nodded. "One of those three is going to end up dead before the night's over."

"My sentiments exactly. How long do we give them?"

"Three hours."

"One hour."

Joker, Willow and Harley glared at them. "We can hear you," Willow informed them.

Spike shrugged. "Yeah, well I wasn't trying to be subtle."

"You don't know how to be subtle," Fred pointed out.

"Exactly, so I didn't even bother to try."

_At least he knows his weaknesses_, Joker thought. _That has to count for something_.


End file.
